Classic Family Dynamic that Causes Borderline Personality Disorder

The common scenario for individuals who have BPD, is that either one or both of their parents had a personality disorder (Weaver & Clum, 1993). This leads the child to learn maladaptive coping skills, such as their parents and to continue this cycle of personality disorders with their children, as well. A classic scenario is with one parent having borderline personality disorder and another parent having a narcissistic personality (Weaver & Clum, 1993). It is common for a narcissistic individual to be attracted to an individual with BPD, because the individual with BPD will praise their partner greatly in the beginning stages of a relationship. The narcissistic partner will love this praise, and eventually will become arrogant and demeaning towards the BPD partner. Then the partner with BPD, will become outraged and devalue the the narcissistic partner. Which in turn will have the narcissistic partner threaten to leave or actually leave, which is the nightmare of the partner with BPD. 

When children enter the scenario, it is normal that they suffer from a lot of grief. Either all of the children suffer or one is singled out by the parents (Weaver & Clum, 1993). Individuals with BPD see the world in black and white. Therefore someone is either all good or all bad. Therefore, they choose the child who reminds them the most of themselves for abuse, in a good or bad way (Weaver & Clum, 1993). Individuals with BPD have consistently fluctuating thoughts about themselves. One day they think that they are evil and completely bad and the next day they believe that they could do no wrong to anyone and that they are completely good. Therefore, they choose a child that reminds them of their completely bad or good side to abuse (Weaver & Clum, 1993). Sometimes they choose two children one who reminds them of their bad side and one of their good side (Weaver & Clum, 1993). Neither of these children grow up to feel good about themselves and many times end up having BPD themselves. 

Other Common Family Dynamics that Cause Borderline Personality Disorder

Not only do personality disordered parents cause their children to have BPD, but other factors such as neglect, emotional or sexual abuse, and witnessing domestic abuse cause BPD, as well. Most clinical practitioners agree that environmental influences that are related to trauma are the major factors that cause BPD (Weaver & Clum, 1993).

(Borderline Personality Disorder- Causes, Signs, Symptoms, and Treatments)

References

Weaver, T. L., & Clum, G. A. (1993). Early family environments and traumatic experiences associated with borderline                  personality disorder. Journal Of Consulting And Clinical Psychology, 61(6), 1068-1075. doi:10.1037/0022-                            006X.61.6.1068